Ode to Plurals

I was sent this poem in chain mail and thought that you all might like to share in the delights of the English language. I think it was written by Zdenek Salzmann.

Happy reading...

Ode to Plurals

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a
recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns
down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?

NEHS Monthly Newsletter

Hey guys! I hope everyone had a good Monday! Our next meeting is the Induction Rehearsal on October 1st at 2:30 outside the 800/900 Building. In the meantime we have been trying to implement some of our ideas on how to make our organization the best. One idea presented is to create a monthly newsletter of what is going on in NEHS. It can contain articles about things that are coming up, as well as things that have already happened. We can include photos and articles written by members and sponsors. This newsletter can be emailed to all members, Lang. Arts teachers, and NEHS parents. That way everyone can stay informed on what we do and how they can become involved. I am looking for 2-4 dedicated members who would like to be staff writers for the newsletter. Please email me or reply to this post. Thanks and have a great week!

PS - Don't forget to come pick up your t-shirts starting Wednesday after school!

September NEHS Language Arts Teacher of the Month!

The winner is....Mrs. Nelson! Officers and any other members who would like to volunteer, will be decorating her door on Monday (Sept. 22) and presenting her with tokens of gratitude for all she does throughout the school year. Please join me in congratulating Mrs. Nelson!

At this time, I will begin taking nominations for October's LA Teacher of the Month. Please respond to this email with the teacher's name, and the reason you think he/she should be awarded.

Movie Day!

This afternoon was movie day and we had a great bunch of students who came to watch The Prestige. What a great movie! I loved the end when everyone started screaming! :o) I hope those members who could not join us, come out to our next movie day in October! Oh and those of you who loved the movie...check out the book! It's called The Prestige by Christopher Priest.

I also collected all money and permission forms for A Midsummer Night's Dream today. We have 15 students and 3 adults attending this event! There is still room for a couple more (as long as you have your own transportation), so if you would like to attend you need to bring your permission form and money on Monday!

Also, one last reminder that the Book Bunch Club will have its first informational meeting on Monday at 2:20pm in T-10. Afterwards the officers will be meeting. Ok, everyone have a safe and fantastic weekend! I will leave you with some pictures from today's event:

NEHS upcoming events!

Hi members!

This is just a reminder of upcoming events!

• There will be a movie day on Friday after school in trailer 10. Please vote for the movie you would like to see on the right hand column. Remember that you cannot get credit for the movie day unless you bring some food or drink to share!
• The first Book Bunch club meeting will be Monday the fifteenth. Book bunch is a club that selects a book a month to read and discuss during lunches. If you plan to be in Book Bunch, please attend this informational meeting so we can see who will be participating and which books we should get started on. This meeting will also take place in Trailer 10
• Please remember to turn in your Shakespeare's Tavern permission slip to Trailer 10 by this Friday if you want to attend a Midsummer's Night Dream on Sunday the 21st.
• Please remember to come to the MANDATORY Induction ceremony rehearsal after school on Wednesday October 1st between the Freshman/Sophomore building and the New Gym.
  
• The Induction ceremony itself will be on Thursday, October 2nd at 7:00

ENJOY ENGLISH!!

-Sheena P. #1, VP

PS: My apologies for the typo on the meeting minutes sent out, the Induction ceremony is OCTOBER 2nd, not in September.

A Note From Mrs. Olsen

I just wanted to let you all know that I am currently in Florida with my mother who is dying from pancreatic cancer. She has fought a good fight and has exceeded her 3-9 months to live prognosis by as much as 7 months at the maximum and over one month at the minimum. She has been an awesome and amazing mom to my four brothers and me! Her life is a blessing to so many, and it has been so wonderful to actually be witness to the impact she has made.

My father died when I was two years old from a car accident with a drunk driver, and my mother and I have always had a very close relationship all of my life. She never remarried because she loved my father so much, and no one could measure up to him. Additionally, she did not want to deal with a stepfather coming between her and her kids. She has sacrificed a lot to make our lives blessed, and all four of my brothers and I are here with her right now to give her our support and blessing as she passes. I will always cherish the moments I have been able to have with her. I want to share with you a piece I wrote in tribute to my mom this past year.


Dear Mom,
I am so thankful God gave me to you and Dad over 40 years ago. If I had to choose parents for myself, I would have definitely chosen the two of you. Here is a poem that is really intended to be a romantic poem, but it says some things that are in my heart for you.

How Do I Love Thee?
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! And, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

I thought I would take a few minutes and count some of the ways that I love you, Mom.
1) I love your passion for God most of all.
2) I love your commitment to pass down your passion for God to your children,
grandchildren, and great-grandchildren and your desire to have an unbroken
circle in heaven.
3) I love your loyalty and love for my dad (even after his death).
4) I love your integrity and determination for morality and purity of heart.
5) I love your strong and faithful love for your children and their spouses.
6) I love your surrender to God’s plan for your life and your ability to accept His
will over your own.
7) I love the joy you receive from and give to your friends.
8) I love the sacrificial way you have chosen to live…putting others’ wishes before
your own.
9) I love the enjoyment you find in doing things for others.
10) I love the way you remember all of the details about a special memory.
11) I love the fact that style, fashion, and proper hygiene are part of your
personal lifestyle.
12) I love the stamina and strength you have to live each day as a gift from God.
13) I love your homemade chicken potpie, applesauce, brownies, potato soup, and
Sunday dinners.
14) I love your smile, laughter, and smooth complexion.
15) I love your ability to accept and forgive.
16) I love your decorating skills and how you make a house a warm and inviting home.
17) I love your beautiful silver hair.
18) I love your tenacious hugs and words of wisdom.
19) I love your dependence on God to provide for your needs.
20) I will always love you for who you are…God’s gift to me!